I'm similar to your gf. I call it recklessness - that grey no-man's land between accidental and deliberate. You realise there's a risk you'll gain weight if you eat that cake (and the next, and the next, and then "forget" to go to the gym) but you go ahead and eat it anyway, even though you can foresee the consequences.
I had this problem even before I realised I had a fat fetish and my appreciation of my own size and shape was fully in the closet and buried in my subconscious. I've never successfully been able to lose weight permanently.
So why don't people like me and your gf diet and lose weight if that's what we want to do?
I think it's about conditioning and expectations. Some people are mortified if they gain weight, embarrassed and have concerns about health issues or appearance that they are able to act on. I don't have such a highly developed level of concern because I've always been at least chubby, and my whole family is too. If you come from a thin family, you're more likely to react adversely to a gain than someone already chubby who has chubby people around them.
And once a girl becomes fat, a little more weight isn't such a big deal, right? Once you're chubby, a little more chub doesn't make that big a difference. Society seems to classify people into fat and non-fat. So it sometimes seems as if it doesn't matter if you're 11 stone or 31 stone, the point is you're not 8 stone and thin. That's a difficult mental block to shift if you're brought up in our society.
As for expectations, I watched my mother fail diets all through her life. She most definitely didn't fail them because she had a fat fetish. So I have had it blueprinted on my mind that it is inevitable that I, like her, will gain weight throughout my adult years. Of course it's not inevitable - I am not my mother and I can make my own choices. But it's the same as we see in other areas of society (eg. people who commit crime, or people who come from multi-generational dependence on benefits) - if you are labelled, or label yourself because of deep-seated long-held beliefs and expectations, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe that it is unlikely I will be able to lose weight, and so this is what actually comes to pass, because the mind is a powerful thing. I have been conditioned to allow it to happen.
Add to that a now-discovered fascination with my own belly, a bit of a gaining fetish and a kinky streak that likes fat-girl humiliation, and you can imagine it would be hard for me successfully to lose weight.
That's my explanation for how my situation comes to be - not sure if that has any resonance for your gf's state of mind?
I had this problem even before I realised I had a fat fetish and my appreciation of my own size and shape was fully in the closet and buried in my subconscious. I've never successfully been able to lose weight permanently.
So why don't people like me and your gf diet and lose weight if that's what we want to do?
I think it's about conditioning and expectations. Some people are mortified if they gain weight, embarrassed and have concerns about health issues or appearance that they are able to act on. I don't have such a highly developed level of concern because I've always been at least chubby, and my whole family is too. If you come from a thin family, you're more likely to react adversely to a gain than someone already chubby who has chubby people around them.
And once a girl becomes fat, a little more weight isn't such a big deal, right? Once you're chubby, a little more chub doesn't make that big a difference. Society seems to classify people into fat and non-fat. So it sometimes seems as if it doesn't matter if you're 11 stone or 31 stone, the point is you're not 8 stone and thin. That's a difficult mental block to shift if you're brought up in our society.
As for expectations, I watched my mother fail diets all through her life. She most definitely didn't fail them because she had a fat fetish. So I have had it blueprinted on my mind that it is inevitable that I, like her, will gain weight throughout my adult years. Of course it's not inevitable - I am not my mother and I can make my own choices. But it's the same as we see in other areas of society (eg. people who commit crime, or people who come from multi-generational dependence on benefits) - if you are labelled, or label yourself because of deep-seated long-held beliefs and expectations, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe that it is unlikely I will be able to lose weight, and so this is what actually comes to pass, because the mind is a powerful thing. I have been conditioned to allow it to happen.
Add to that a now-discovered fascination with my own belly, a bit of a gaining fetish and a kinky streak that likes fat-girl humiliation, and you can imagine it would be hard for me successfully to lose weight.
That's my explanation for how my situation comes to be - not sure if that has any resonance for your gf's state of mind?
12 years